That's the only thing that comes to mind when I think about how I have yet again neglected a blog I had intended to regularly keep. I suppose this post is more for myself than anything. But it is really amazing to think of how many major life events have occurred since I last blogged. Most notably, I had a baby almost a year ago and she is turning one very soon. I also work in a place that I've always wanted to work and is so well-suited for me that even a year into it, I still can't believe how fortunate I am. I've been writing very sporadically as well. Like actual stories--not blogs.
It is well past my bed time. Even though E mostly sleeps through the night these days, proofreads or anxious brain in overdrive have been making it hard to get to bed at a decent hour. So instead of sitting here going, "Where should I begin?" I am going to sleep.
Friday, April 20, 2018
Thursday, January 14, 2016
New Dog
Wow, the rest of 2015 kind of got away from me. We've been pretty busy the last few months. I'll keep this post brief, but I thought I'd use this opportunity to post about our new little dog. We adopted him from the San Diego Humane Society this past weekend while we were visiting family. We'd been talking about wanting another dog for a while. Copper is taking a while to warm up to him, but I'm hopeful they will become good friends.
Anyway, meet Wink!
His name at the shelter was "Shmoopy" and we were like, "Uh, no." Stuart came up with Wink, because he permanently has one ear up and one ear down. We like it, and Wink seems to be getting used to it.
One thing we need to figure out is how to deal with his separation anxiety, especially where I'm concerned (he seems to have latched onto me in particular; he follows me everywhere). I even went so far as to record him in his crate while I ran errands for an hour to see what he gets up to when we're out, and the poor guy makes these really sad little howls and paws at the crate door when no one's around. (Any other dog lovers out there with tips on easing separation anxiety, let me know!)
We've only had him a few days, and he's definitely going to take some work, but he's already stolen my heart. We're also making sure Copper gets plenty of attention; she is a jealous little doge sometimes.
This is the face of dejection. "Really, guys? Why have you done this to me?" She'll like him eventually. She's already tried to get him to play with her a few times, so that's a good sign.
More pictures to come, I'm sure. Looking forward to Wink getting more comfortable in his new home. That's all for now. Happy New Year!
Anyway, meet Wink!
His name at the shelter was "Shmoopy" and we were like, "Uh, no." Stuart came up with Wink, because he permanently has one ear up and one ear down. We like it, and Wink seems to be getting used to it.
One thing we need to figure out is how to deal with his separation anxiety, especially where I'm concerned (he seems to have latched onto me in particular; he follows me everywhere). I even went so far as to record him in his crate while I ran errands for an hour to see what he gets up to when we're out, and the poor guy makes these really sad little howls and paws at the crate door when no one's around. (Any other dog lovers out there with tips on easing separation anxiety, let me know!)
We've only had him a few days, and he's definitely going to take some work, but he's already stolen my heart. We're also making sure Copper gets plenty of attention; she is a jealous little doge sometimes.
This is the face of dejection. "Really, guys? Why have you done this to me?" She'll like him eventually. She's already tried to get him to play with her a few times, so that's a good sign.
More pictures to come, I'm sure. Looking forward to Wink getting more comfortable in his new home. That's all for now. Happy New Year!
Saturday, September 5, 2015
Quick update
Sorry for the absence. The last few months have been challenging for us financially, spiritually, and emotionally. I just wanted to let you know I'm still here and will continue to update this blog as regularly as I can, or as blog-worthy stuff comes up. My work schedule is crazier than ever, but I promise I'll have some more detailed updates soon.
One thing I will say is, as hard as these last few months have been, God has provided for us every step of the way. That has been abundantly clear since we moved back to Santa Barbara and have been dealing with all the challenges that come with moving to a place with such a high cost of living. We've been living on God's faithfulness and grace, which has been both frightening and comforting at the same time, if that makes any sense.
On a completely unrelated note, who else is as excited about fall as I am? Getting sick of the hotter-than-usual weather, even by Santa Barbara standards. Global warming + no air conditioning = ME NO WANT.
One thing I will say is, as hard as these last few months have been, God has provided for us every step of the way. That has been abundantly clear since we moved back to Santa Barbara and have been dealing with all the challenges that come with moving to a place with such a high cost of living. We've been living on God's faithfulness and grace, which has been both frightening and comforting at the same time, if that makes any sense.
On a completely unrelated note, who else is as excited about fall as I am? Getting sick of the hotter-than-usual weather, even by Santa Barbara standards. Global warming + no air conditioning = ME NO WANT.
Monday, June 15, 2015
Home
Well, things have finally settled down a bit. This post make be a little all-over-the-place because it's late, but here it goes.
This was one of the hardest moves I have ever had to deal with in the physical sense (I will spare you the details of my being violently ill the night before/morning we had to pack the truck, which rendered me near useless), and we never would have gotten everything done if it wasn't for our friends and family in both San Diego and Santa Barbara helping us. Literally, that truck would've never gotten packed or unpacked so efficiently, our last place would've never gotten so clean, and I would've brought up a lot of stuff I didn't really need anymore.
Most stuff is unpacked and in its proper place (again, thanks to some good friends of ours; I was especially thankful to have my kitchen clean and organized by the end of move-in day). The bedroom is still a disaster with bags of clothes and other random odds and ends strewn everywhere, but we just haven't had the time or energy to tackle it yet. We were so physically drained at the end of the move and we've hit the ground running ever since. When we woke up the morning after the move, Stuart thought I was dead for a moment and checked to see if I was still breathing (true story). I don't remember the last time I was so physically exhausted that I couldn't even move. And the funny thing is, once I had recovered from that, with all the walking we've been doing (in clunky walking shoes I haven't worn since my retail days), I ended up with shin splints and knee issues (splints are gone, and knees are thankfully slowly getting better).
Physical ailments aside, I'm so glad to finally be back in Santa Barbara. I think it's beginning to sink in that, oh, we're not on an extended vacation, we're home. Like, actually and truly home. A year ago I would have thought living up here was just a pipe dream. But things are slowly working themselves out. We have jobs, we have a roof over our head, we can buy food... and we get to do life in Santa Barbara.
I walked the UCSB commencement stage five years ago. Leaving Santa Barbara after college was one of the hardest things I had to do. I never imagined I'd get to come back. I mean, look at this:
I get to live here again? It wasn't just a once-in-a-lifetime, only-for-college thing? Is this real life?
I'm also incredibly thankful that we have some dear friends that still live in the area. I don't know how we could've handled the move and life in general these last couple of weeks without them. Something I'm noticing, though, now that we're away from the friends and network we had in San Diego, is that I will, in fact, have to go out and make new friends. And since I work from home, and church community group is on hold until fall, I'm actually going to have to go out of my way to meet people--which, if you know me, is not exactly one of my strongest traits. So that's a challenge on my immediate horizon. I've got my eyes and ears open for opportunities to connect with people; I just hope I have the courage to get out of my comfort zone and put myself out there.
Copper still seems a little anxious. I think it's going to take her a while to get used to our new home, and I'm hoping against hope that she'll eventually NOT bark every time someone walks by our door or talks within earshot of our window. But that's something she did at our old place, so we'll see.
Something I'd like to get once finances are more settled is a bike. Not a road bike, but just something to get me around town or the beach and up the occasional hill without inducing a heart attack. I feel like once I have a bike (and a bike lock), getting around will be SO much easier. We're trying to minimize our use of the car (for lots of reasons), and Santa Barbara is very pedestrian- and bike-friendly. Places that take me a while to get to on foot will be much more accessible by bike.
Stuart and I are both really excited about this next phase of our lives. I'll be sure to post about our adventures (and Copper's adventures, too!).
Anyway, my brain is shutting down on me, so I better leave it there. Goodnight!
This was one of the hardest moves I have ever had to deal with in the physical sense (I will spare you the details of my being violently ill the night before/morning we had to pack the truck, which rendered me near useless), and we never would have gotten everything done if it wasn't for our friends and family in both San Diego and Santa Barbara helping us. Literally, that truck would've never gotten packed or unpacked so efficiently, our last place would've never gotten so clean, and I would've brought up a lot of stuff I didn't really need anymore.
Most stuff is unpacked and in its proper place (again, thanks to some good friends of ours; I was especially thankful to have my kitchen clean and organized by the end of move-in day). The bedroom is still a disaster with bags of clothes and other random odds and ends strewn everywhere, but we just haven't had the time or energy to tackle it yet. We were so physically drained at the end of the move and we've hit the ground running ever since. When we woke up the morning after the move, Stuart thought I was dead for a moment and checked to see if I was still breathing (true story). I don't remember the last time I was so physically exhausted that I couldn't even move. And the funny thing is, once I had recovered from that, with all the walking we've been doing (in clunky walking shoes I haven't worn since my retail days), I ended up with shin splints and knee issues (splints are gone, and knees are thankfully slowly getting better).
Physical ailments aside, I'm so glad to finally be back in Santa Barbara. I think it's beginning to sink in that, oh, we're not on an extended vacation, we're home. Like, actually and truly home. A year ago I would have thought living up here was just a pipe dream. But things are slowly working themselves out. We have jobs, we have a roof over our head, we can buy food... and we get to do life in Santa Barbara.
I walked the UCSB commencement stage five years ago. Leaving Santa Barbara after college was one of the hardest things I had to do. I never imagined I'd get to come back. I mean, look at this:
I get to live here again? It wasn't just a once-in-a-lifetime, only-for-college thing? Is this real life?
I'm also incredibly thankful that we have some dear friends that still live in the area. I don't know how we could've handled the move and life in general these last couple of weeks without them. Something I'm noticing, though, now that we're away from the friends and network we had in San Diego, is that I will, in fact, have to go out and make new friends. And since I work from home, and church community group is on hold until fall, I'm actually going to have to go out of my way to meet people--which, if you know me, is not exactly one of my strongest traits. So that's a challenge on my immediate horizon. I've got my eyes and ears open for opportunities to connect with people; I just hope I have the courage to get out of my comfort zone and put myself out there.
Copper still seems a little anxious. I think it's going to take her a while to get used to our new home, and I'm hoping against hope that she'll eventually NOT bark every time someone walks by our door or talks within earshot of our window. But that's something she did at our old place, so we'll see.
Something I'd like to get once finances are more settled is a bike. Not a road bike, but just something to get me around town or the beach and up the occasional hill without inducing a heart attack. I feel like once I have a bike (and a bike lock), getting around will be SO much easier. We're trying to minimize our use of the car (for lots of reasons), and Santa Barbara is very pedestrian- and bike-friendly. Places that take me a while to get to on foot will be much more accessible by bike.
Stuart and I are both really excited about this next phase of our lives. I'll be sure to post about our adventures (and Copper's adventures, too!).
Anyway, my brain is shutting down on me, so I better leave it there. Goodnight!
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Adventures in Moving
So it's been a while since I've posted anything. That's mainly due to the fact that life became even more bonkers than it was before. I was finishing a PR class, I'm working two jobs, and I'm also trying to pack our entire home. Oh, and taking care of our crazy (but adorable) dog at the same time.
We are in the process of moving to Santa Barbara, and are in the last two weeks of life in our current home. I'm tremendously excited to move back to Santa Barbara, as it has always been a special place for us. For me, it has always felt like home in a different way than other places I've lived. We have friends and a church in Santa Barbara, so it's not like we're going into completely unknown, unfamiliar territory. But at the same time, change is hard, and when it comes to things like, oh, finances, it can be downright scary.
We've been praying about this move and thinking and talking and assessing things for several months now, and enough things finally lined up where we said, "Okay, God, we're taking a leap of faith." Not long after my husband put in his notice at work last month, we found an apartment that was within our means, recently remodeled, and accepts dogs (all of which are hard enough to find individually in Santa Barbara, let alone as a combo deal). My husband is working so hard to find a job while he lives in our minimally furnished apartment. Meanwhile, I'm trying to work as many hours as I can and simultaneously pack our belongings here. It's tough in a lot of ways, and it's easy to feel helpless or for fear to creep in.
It's moments like that when I need to remind myself how God has always taken care of us and will always continue to do so. Not because we've done anything to deserve it, but because he's good and he loves us. So we're trusting him to work things out, even while a part of me is going, "man, things are getting kind of crazy here..."
These next couple weeks will probably be the hardest. I thought once I was done with my PR class, and therefore had one less thing to focus on amid the myriad of logistical concerns, that things would get slightly easier. HAHAHA, NOPE. Because now it's hitting me that we're leaving in less than two weeks. And I'm not talking about my brain going, "OH MAN, so much stuff to pack! How will we get it done?!" No, no, no. Now the emotions are kicking in.
We've always wanted to go back to Santa Barbara, but that doesn't make saying goodbye to all the friends we have here any easier. It doesn't stop thoughts like "I wish I had hung out with this person more while I was living here" and "I'm going to miss playing with so-and-so's kids" and others from popping into my head. And yeah, there's only a three to three-and-a-half hour car ride between San Diego and Santa Barbara, but visiting is not the same as doing life together on a regular basis. And I am going to miss my friends here something fierce...
In a way I'm both looking forward to the last weekend of May (our moving weekend) and dreading it, because of everything that it entails. It's like I want to hit the fast-forward button and the pause button at the same time.
Not sure if I will have time for another update between now and the big move, but I'll be sure to post about life in Santa Barbara once we're up there. In the meantime, keep us in your thoughts and prayers.
Much love,
Alyssa
We are in the process of moving to Santa Barbara, and are in the last two weeks of life in our current home. I'm tremendously excited to move back to Santa Barbara, as it has always been a special place for us. For me, it has always felt like home in a different way than other places I've lived. We have friends and a church in Santa Barbara, so it's not like we're going into completely unknown, unfamiliar territory. But at the same time, change is hard, and when it comes to things like, oh, finances, it can be downright scary.
We've been praying about this move and thinking and talking and assessing things for several months now, and enough things finally lined up where we said, "Okay, God, we're taking a leap of faith." Not long after my husband put in his notice at work last month, we found an apartment that was within our means, recently remodeled, and accepts dogs (all of which are hard enough to find individually in Santa Barbara, let alone as a combo deal). My husband is working so hard to find a job while he lives in our minimally furnished apartment. Meanwhile, I'm trying to work as many hours as I can and simultaneously pack our belongings here. It's tough in a lot of ways, and it's easy to feel helpless or for fear to creep in.
It's moments like that when I need to remind myself how God has always taken care of us and will always continue to do so. Not because we've done anything to deserve it, but because he's good and he loves us. So we're trusting him to work things out, even while a part of me is going, "man, things are getting kind of crazy here..."
These next couple weeks will probably be the hardest. I thought once I was done with my PR class, and therefore had one less thing to focus on amid the myriad of logistical concerns, that things would get slightly easier. HAHAHA, NOPE. Because now it's hitting me that we're leaving in less than two weeks. And I'm not talking about my brain going, "OH MAN, so much stuff to pack! How will we get it done?!" No, no, no. Now the emotions are kicking in.
We've always wanted to go back to Santa Barbara, but that doesn't make saying goodbye to all the friends we have here any easier. It doesn't stop thoughts like "I wish I had hung out with this person more while I was living here" and "I'm going to miss playing with so-and-so's kids" and others from popping into my head. And yeah, there's only a three to three-and-a-half hour car ride between San Diego and Santa Barbara, but visiting is not the same as doing life together on a regular basis. And I am going to miss my friends here something fierce...
In a way I'm both looking forward to the last weekend of May (our moving weekend) and dreading it, because of everything that it entails. It's like I want to hit the fast-forward button and the pause button at the same time.
Not sure if I will have time for another update between now and the big move, but I'll be sure to post about life in Santa Barbara once we're up there. In the meantime, keep us in your thoughts and prayers.
Much love,
Alyssa
Monday, March 30, 2015
The briefest of updates.
I recently got full time (or close to it) at one of my publishing jobs, so it's been extra busy around here lately. When I have some down time, I'll make some blog posts. For now, hang tight. You'll be seeing me here soon.
Thanks.
Alyssa
Thanks.
Alyssa
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
A Shortcut to Mushrooms!
Well, technically a mushroom, and there were few shortcuts involved. Stuart's been wanting a Super Mario mushroom hat, so I crocheted one for him. I'm quite proud of the way it turned out, so I wanted to share it with you all in internet-land. Ta-da!
Friday, January 16, 2015
Mild Inspiration Is Better than None
Something I've noticed since finishing college (and even a bit during college)--I've felt a significant decrease in my creativity. Ask my friends who knew me in high school; I liked to sketch pictures and stuff, sure, but I loved to make up stories--primarily Lord of the Rings fan-fiction (go ahead and laugh, it was pretty silly)--to entertain them at lunchtime and beyond.
I'm going to be purposely vague here, partially because I don't want anyone to steal my idea, but also to avoid awkwardness if this doesn't lead anywhere. I've been kicking around this idea for a story that would probably fall under young adult fiction. A type of original fairy tale (original in that I am not putting a twist, spin, or implementing an "modern-day version" techniques to Grimm, Disney, or any other existing fairy or folk tale. I won't wax philosophical about the meaning of "originality" because I'm tired and really, no one wants to hear about that right now.). It's something I came up with about four years ago, and aside from some outline notes and an attempt to start the story, it's mostly just been stewing in the back of my head (and on my external hard drive and a scrap piece of paper in a notebook) ever since.
So, about that blog post title up there... The inspiration came after reading an entertaining article on The Mary Sue about a story in J.R.R. Tolkien's The Silmarillion. I am ashamed to admit, as a self-professed Tolkien geek, that I own but have never read The Silmarillion. (I tried once in high school and got about 10 pages in before giving up. Now that I'm so much older and wiser (HA!) I'd like to give it another go... eventually). So, this humorous run-down intrigued me.
The inspiration came from a piece of artwork the author linked from a user on DeviantArt that piqued my interest. I followed the link and couldn't help but spend a ridiculous amount of time perusing a number of the artist's other pieces. Here's just a couple examples to give you an idea:
I am no man by breathing2004 on DeviantArt
fate of Beren and Luthien by breathing2004 on DeviantArt
For real, do yourself a favor and go look through this guy's gallery. At the very least, go look at the full-size image of that last piece.
(Side note: I'm pretty sure I love stained-glass and stained-glass-looking art because of the opening sequence to Beauty and the Beast. Side-side note: THAT MUSIC. My heart. Ahem... what was I saying?)
Anyway, when I was looking at his art, in my head I was going, man, when was the last time I drew something? Which turned into, when was the last time I wrote something? Like, an actual story? All of this boils down to: I was feeling inspired today, and with an encouraging nudge from my husband to get back into drawing and actually intentionally practice at it, I sketched a picture for the story I have not written yet. Which sounds odd, when I see it typed on the screen like that, but here's my point...
There was a spark. I hope that I can push past my tendency to not follow through and finish things, and fan that little flame and actually commit to making something. Who knows, maybe a decade from now I'll have an illustrated fairy-tale book out on the market. Or I might not. Maybe I'll go in an entirely different direction. Maybe I'll do something that only a few people will ever see. But that's okay, because the important thing here is that I pursue something creative and actually complete something. Not for an ego trip, not to show off and say "LOOKIT ME! I made art! Tell me you like it!" But because I enjoy it, because I want to tap back into my creativity, because I want to create something that, hopefully, will bring something special to another person's life.
When I've had very little to no inspiration for years, mild inspiration goes a long way. If this does lead to more art-output (for lack of a better term), I will keep you posted.
Now if you'll excuse me, I feel the sudden urge to watch Beauty and the Beast... and also to make a sketch of the White Tree of Gondor...
I'm going to be purposely vague here, partially because I don't want anyone to steal my idea, but also to avoid awkwardness if this doesn't lead anywhere. I've been kicking around this idea for a story that would probably fall under young adult fiction. A type of original fairy tale (original in that I am not putting a twist, spin, or implementing an "modern-day version" techniques to Grimm, Disney, or any other existing fairy or folk tale. I won't wax philosophical about the meaning of "originality" because I'm tired and really, no one wants to hear about that right now.). It's something I came up with about four years ago, and aside from some outline notes and an attempt to start the story, it's mostly just been stewing in the back of my head (and on my external hard drive and a scrap piece of paper in a notebook) ever since.
So, about that blog post title up there... The inspiration came after reading an entertaining article on The Mary Sue about a story in J.R.R. Tolkien's The Silmarillion. I am ashamed to admit, as a self-professed Tolkien geek, that I own but have never read The Silmarillion. (I tried once in high school and got about 10 pages in before giving up. Now that I'm so much older and wiser (HA!) I'd like to give it another go... eventually). So, this humorous run-down intrigued me.
The inspiration came from a piece of artwork the author linked from a user on DeviantArt that piqued my interest. I followed the link and couldn't help but spend a ridiculous amount of time perusing a number of the artist's other pieces. Here's just a couple examples to give you an idea:
I am no man by breathing2004 on DeviantArt
fate of Beren and Luthien by breathing2004 on DeviantArt
For real, do yourself a favor and go look through this guy's gallery. At the very least, go look at the full-size image of that last piece.
(Side note: I'm pretty sure I love stained-glass and stained-glass-looking art because of the opening sequence to Beauty and the Beast. Side-side note: THAT MUSIC. My heart. Ahem... what was I saying?)
Anyway, when I was looking at his art, in my head I was going, man, when was the last time I drew something? Which turned into, when was the last time I wrote something? Like, an actual story? All of this boils down to: I was feeling inspired today, and with an encouraging nudge from my husband to get back into drawing and actually intentionally practice at it, I sketched a picture for the story I have not written yet. Which sounds odd, when I see it typed on the screen like that, but here's my point...
There was a spark. I hope that I can push past my tendency to not follow through and finish things, and fan that little flame and actually commit to making something. Who knows, maybe a decade from now I'll have an illustrated fairy-tale book out on the market. Or I might not. Maybe I'll go in an entirely different direction. Maybe I'll do something that only a few people will ever see. But that's okay, because the important thing here is that I pursue something creative and actually complete something. Not for an ego trip, not to show off and say "LOOKIT ME! I made art! Tell me you like it!" But because I enjoy it, because I want to tap back into my creativity, because I want to create something that, hopefully, will bring something special to another person's life.
When I've had very little to no inspiration for years, mild inspiration goes a long way. If this does lead to more art-output (for lack of a better term), I will keep you posted.
Now if you'll excuse me, I feel the sudden urge to watch Beauty and the Beast... and also to make a sketch of the White Tree of Gondor...
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
We Rang in the New Year by Saving a Dog
This post will be brief, as I need to get back to work, but I just wanted to say that I hope everyone had a great holiday season and a good start to the new year. Stuart and I are looking forward to a bunch of different things this year, and I will update you as those come to fruition.
We had an interesting start to our new year. As we pulled into our driveway around 12:30 a.m. on New Year's Day, we saw an animal trotting along the curb toward us. Turned out to be an old, tiny, dachshund with a weird skin condition on its back legs that made the skin all hairless and saggy. Long story short, we snatched her out of the street and kept her until Friday, when the Humane Society was open. She was a sweet little dog, once she wasn't scared of us anymore, and cheerfully wagged her tail when we took her out for walks. The people at the Animal Control desk said her owner had called Friday morning and was looking for her, so we were thankful to discover she had a home.
This is the second time we've found a lost dog near our home, and even though we've lived here for over two years, this oddly only started happening after we got our dog, Copper. It'll be interesting to see if any other lost pups find their way to us this year. We're just glad we were in the right place at the right time, because we live on a very busy street and who knows how long these little dogs would last out there on their own.
Well, that's all for now. I think I'm going to take my work down to Starbucks to enjoy this bizarre, spring-like weather we're suddenly having. January in San Diego, everybody.
Happy New Year!
We had an interesting start to our new year. As we pulled into our driveway around 12:30 a.m. on New Year's Day, we saw an animal trotting along the curb toward us. Turned out to be an old, tiny, dachshund with a weird skin condition on its back legs that made the skin all hairless and saggy. Long story short, we snatched her out of the street and kept her until Friday, when the Humane Society was open. She was a sweet little dog, once she wasn't scared of us anymore, and cheerfully wagged her tail when we took her out for walks. The people at the Animal Control desk said her owner had called Friday morning and was looking for her, so we were thankful to discover she had a home.
This is the second time we've found a lost dog near our home, and even though we've lived here for over two years, this oddly only started happening after we got our dog, Copper. It'll be interesting to see if any other lost pups find their way to us this year. We're just glad we were in the right place at the right time, because we live on a very busy street and who knows how long these little dogs would last out there on their own.
Well, that's all for now. I think I'm going to take my work down to Starbucks to enjoy this bizarre, spring-like weather we're suddenly having. January in San Diego, everybody.
Happy New Year!
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Beyond Black Friday
When I heard the different opening times of various retailers for Thanksgiving/Black Friday this year, my heart gave an involuntary pang. I'm not making that up for dramatic effect, I swear. I'm not even a full year out of the trenches of retail, and after four consecutive years working Black Friday/Christmas season, I haven't forgotten the unbelievable frustration that comes with working during what's supposed to be a joyful time of year, surrounded by loved ones, and being thankful for what we already have. I don't even have to get Biblical to point out how LUDICROUS this whole thing is.
I know some people don't mind working Thanksgiving or Black Friday (though I imagine after dealing with some of the--let's call them intense--customers, they're just as glad as anyone else when it's over), and to go on a rant about how greedy and disgusting American culture has become and how we've lost the true meaning of the holiday season would be just beating a very dead horse... And yet every year, I'm surprised at how much farther people are willing to go to make a buck/save a buck (corporations and customers alike) at the expense of other people's personal lives, values, and sanity.
Not to mention the ridiculous back-to-back overtime shifts many overworked, understaffed retail employees have to do just to make the store BARELY survive the weekend (Have you SEEN a department store after a big sale? A tornado does less damage.). Companies try to dress it up for their employees (read: subjugated masses), make it fun, give you goodies to show they really appreciate you... but I don't buy it, and I don't think a lot of retail employees do either.
If a company truly valued their employees over profit, we wouldn't have this never-ending, one-upping battle between department stores and others over who can open the earliest and get the most business. If one store opens at 6PM on Thanksgiving, then all of their competitors "have" to open at 6PM or lose valuable opportunities to screw over the Black Friday shoppers with all these "deals." Given the trend of the last few years, I wouldn't be surprised if there were Turkey Day Doorbusters starting at 9AM by 2017.
The first time I remember hearing anything terrible about Black Friday was when that first, poor Wal-Mart employee got trampled several years back. Maybe I was blissfully ignorant, but up til then I'd never really heard of the shopping frenzy beyond a brief mention on the news alongside the weather forecast. And the funny thing is, I'm pretty sure this is a strictly American phenomenon (Although I know there are some countries which are starting to promote shopping on that day as well. Wikipedia told me so.). How strange it must be to foreigners watching people shoving their way into a store, demanding they get what they want (or else), and throwing LUDICROUS amounts of money at helpless sales clerks.
When will people wake up? Will getting all the latest-and-greatest in fashion, toys, gadgets, gizmos, cars, etc. really make you happy? Black Friday is such a hollow, shallow, superficial display. I'm pretty sure your friends and family will appreciate one thoughtful gift (or even no gift at all--just BE with them) for Christmas over a bunch of stuff you had to punch someone's grandmother in the face to get at a low, low price.
Meanwhile, all these retail workers have to put up with a tremendous mess; rude, impatient customers and their cranky children (who should be sound asleep in their beds after a big Thanksgiving meal); managers hounding them to open credit cards as if there is a Hellmouth in the stockroom and the only way to close the gates to hell is to get EVERYONE and their mother a credit card... And on top of it all: obnoxious, tasteless Christmas music, played on a loop, often with several variations of the same song. I'm not saying all Christmas music is bad--I quite like it under normal circumstances, provided it isn't cheesy or some permutation of "All I Want for Christmas Is You"--but the stuff that played when I was in retail? Shoot me.
I guess this rant all boils down to...
STOP. THIS. MADNESS.
A friend and former manager of mine made a very good point in an EPIC rant she posted on Facebook. The only way this stops is if people stop. Stop shopping on Thanksgiving, or even Black Friday. Stop making people work when they should be home with their families (and before you argue that healthcare and law enforcement don't get a break, I'm talking RETAIL here.). I don't know much about Trader Joe's, other than I love to shop there and their employees are always super nice, but the fact that they close for major holidays--including Thanksgiving--tells me something about how they think of their employees.
Employees = people. Not numbers. Not a bottom line. Not a profit-generating machine.
Maybe if companies start treating people like...well, PEOPLE, things will change. Maybe if we start valuing time spent with friends and family and enjoying a good meal over camping out in front of Best Buy to get that 54 inch flat screen at 75% off, things will change.
Until then, I'll be exercising my freedom from retail by eating dinner with my husband, my sister, and my brother-in-law on Thanksgiving, not shopping for a "can't-miss-it deal." And I'll be thinking about all my friends and former coworkers who still have to deal with the madness, and hope that things change soon.
And can someone please come get this horse out of here? I think it's had enough abuse.
Peace out.
I know some people don't mind working Thanksgiving or Black Friday (though I imagine after dealing with some of the--let's call them intense--customers, they're just as glad as anyone else when it's over), and to go on a rant about how greedy and disgusting American culture has become and how we've lost the true meaning of the holiday season would be just beating a very dead horse... And yet every year, I'm surprised at how much farther people are willing to go to make a buck/save a buck (corporations and customers alike) at the expense of other people's personal lives, values, and sanity.
Not to mention the ridiculous back-to-back overtime shifts many overworked, understaffed retail employees have to do just to make the store BARELY survive the weekend (Have you SEEN a department store after a big sale? A tornado does less damage.). Companies try to dress it up for their employees (read: subjugated masses), make it fun, give you goodies to show they really appreciate you... but I don't buy it, and I don't think a lot of retail employees do either.
If a company truly valued their employees over profit, we wouldn't have this never-ending, one-upping battle between department stores and others over who can open the earliest and get the most business. If one store opens at 6PM on Thanksgiving, then all of their competitors "have" to open at 6PM or lose valuable opportunities to screw over the Black Friday shoppers with all these "deals." Given the trend of the last few years, I wouldn't be surprised if there were Turkey Day Doorbusters starting at 9AM by 2017.
The first time I remember hearing anything terrible about Black Friday was when that first, poor Wal-Mart employee got trampled several years back. Maybe I was blissfully ignorant, but up til then I'd never really heard of the shopping frenzy beyond a brief mention on the news alongside the weather forecast. And the funny thing is, I'm pretty sure this is a strictly American phenomenon (Although I know there are some countries which are starting to promote shopping on that day as well. Wikipedia told me so.). How strange it must be to foreigners watching people shoving their way into a store, demanding they get what they want (or else), and throwing LUDICROUS amounts of money at helpless sales clerks.
When will people wake up? Will getting all the latest-and-greatest in fashion, toys, gadgets, gizmos, cars, etc. really make you happy? Black Friday is such a hollow, shallow, superficial display. I'm pretty sure your friends and family will appreciate one thoughtful gift (or even no gift at all--just BE with them) for Christmas over a bunch of stuff you had to punch someone's grandmother in the face to get at a low, low price.
Meanwhile, all these retail workers have to put up with a tremendous mess; rude, impatient customers and their cranky children (who should be sound asleep in their beds after a big Thanksgiving meal); managers hounding them to open credit cards as if there is a Hellmouth in the stockroom and the only way to close the gates to hell is to get EVERYONE and their mother a credit card... And on top of it all: obnoxious, tasteless Christmas music, played on a loop, often with several variations of the same song. I'm not saying all Christmas music is bad--I quite like it under normal circumstances, provided it isn't cheesy or some permutation of "All I Want for Christmas Is You"--but the stuff that played when I was in retail? Shoot me.
I guess this rant all boils down to...
STOP. THIS. MADNESS.
A friend and former manager of mine made a very good point in an EPIC rant she posted on Facebook. The only way this stops is if people stop. Stop shopping on Thanksgiving, or even Black Friday. Stop making people work when they should be home with their families (and before you argue that healthcare and law enforcement don't get a break, I'm talking RETAIL here.). I don't know much about Trader Joe's, other than I love to shop there and their employees are always super nice, but the fact that they close for major holidays--including Thanksgiving--tells me something about how they think of their employees.
Employees = people. Not numbers. Not a bottom line. Not a profit-generating machine.
Maybe if companies start treating people like...well, PEOPLE, things will change. Maybe if we start valuing time spent with friends and family and enjoying a good meal over camping out in front of Best Buy to get that 54 inch flat screen at 75% off, things will change.
Until then, I'll be exercising my freedom from retail by eating dinner with my husband, my sister, and my brother-in-law on Thanksgiving, not shopping for a "can't-miss-it deal." And I'll be thinking about all my friends and former coworkers who still have to deal with the madness, and hope that things change soon.
And can someone please come get this horse out of here? I think it's had enough abuse.
Peace out.
Saturday, October 25, 2014
Hawaii, a Dog, and a Pumpkin Hat
Hooray! Another self-explanatory title! Sorry for the gap in posts. To say things have been hectic is an understatement. I'm super tired, so this will be a relatively brief post.
Two major things from this month: Stuart and I went on vacation in Hawaii for about a week, and we've adopted a dog. I'll elaborate on these things later (read: when I've had enough sleep and caffeine). Hawaii was great, and we're excited to finally have a dog (we've gone back and forth on how we feel about getting one for over a year now). More pictures from both to follow! But for now,
here's a plane pic from when we flew into the sunset on our way to Hawaii:
In the meantime, I'm still sitting here, pining away for rain and cooler weather. At least it's been getting colder at night, but it's hard to be all, "Yay, fall! Let me wear that pumpkin beanie I crocheted last year!" when it's like 85 degrees during the day. I may just wear it in defiance and shake my fist at the weather. I mean, what's the point of making a pumpkin hat if you don't wear it before Halloween?
I mean, I can't run around with this thing on any other time of the year:
That would just be silly. Unless someone threw a squash-themed party?
Anyway, I am going to go to bed now.
Until next time...
Two major things from this month: Stuart and I went on vacation in Hawaii for about a week, and we've adopted a dog. I'll elaborate on these things later (read: when I've had enough sleep and caffeine). Hawaii was great, and we're excited to finally have a dog (we've gone back and forth on how we feel about getting one for over a year now). More pictures from both to follow! But for now,
here's a plane pic from when we flew into the sunset on our way to Hawaii:
(Thankfully, no monkeys were present on our wing.)
And a picture of our newly adopted dog, Copper:
(Insert obligatory: "Such doge. Much wow.")
In the meantime, I'm still sitting here, pining away for rain and cooler weather. At least it's been getting colder at night, but it's hard to be all, "Yay, fall! Let me wear that pumpkin beanie I crocheted last year!" when it's like 85 degrees during the day. I may just wear it in defiance and shake my fist at the weather. I mean, what's the point of making a pumpkin hat if you don't wear it before Halloween?
I mean, I can't run around with this thing on any other time of the year:
That would just be silly. Unless someone threw a squash-themed party?
Anyway, I am going to go to bed now.
Until next time...
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
A Brief Update: Moving Toward Fall
I would say that summer has flown by, except for two things: 1) I don't have kids, so "summer vacation" isn't really a concept in my brain anymore, and 2) it's still effing hot outside. Despite that, I'm really looking forward to fall (even though I miss leaf-changing weather). Pumpkin-flavored everything shall soon be here, and I will have an excuse to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas, bake pumpkin pies, and run around in the little pumpkin hat I crocheted last year (yes, I totally will do that--just you wait!).
Just as I'm looking forward to the new season, I'm also transitioning into a new season of life in a way. Last month I got a second part-time publishing job, doing more of what I do, also working from home. Something I tend to forget until after the fact: prayer works. We've been praying for me to find another job, and after a few applications and interviews went nowhere, this one (much like my first publishing job) literally just fell into my lap when I was least expecting it. And with the acquisition of some new furniture (like a chest of drawers and a desk), Stuart and I are making our house feel even more like a home (having a nice desk in the study has helped me be more productive too--no more working where I eat!).
Something I'd like to do as we head into fall: balance my life better. I want to figure out a good structure for my week, now that I have two publishing jobs, a marketing class, a social life, church, and housekeeping to balance, to name a few things. Sometimes I have a hard time resting on the weekends and on weeknights--partially because I'm not as diligent during the day, feel guilty, and then feel like I need to do everything before bed. I'm trying to get in the habit of getting all my work done during the day, on weekdays, so I can have afternoons, evenings, and weekends free to hang out with my husband and with friends, to read, practice archery, crochet and knit, cook, or play video games (Skyrim is my current addiction).
Well, I think I'll leave it at that for now. Hopefully my next post will include progress in those areas. Until then, happy September!
Just as I'm looking forward to the new season, I'm also transitioning into a new season of life in a way. Last month I got a second part-time publishing job, doing more of what I do, also working from home. Something I tend to forget until after the fact: prayer works. We've been praying for me to find another job, and after a few applications and interviews went nowhere, this one (much like my first publishing job) literally just fell into my lap when I was least expecting it. And with the acquisition of some new furniture (like a chest of drawers and a desk), Stuart and I are making our house feel even more like a home (having a nice desk in the study has helped me be more productive too--no more working where I eat!).
Something I'd like to do as we head into fall: balance my life better. I want to figure out a good structure for my week, now that I have two publishing jobs, a marketing class, a social life, church, and housekeeping to balance, to name a few things. Sometimes I have a hard time resting on the weekends and on weeknights--partially because I'm not as diligent during the day, feel guilty, and then feel like I need to do everything before bed. I'm trying to get in the habit of getting all my work done during the day, on weekdays, so I can have afternoons, evenings, and weekends free to hang out with my husband and with friends, to read, practice archery, crochet and knit, cook, or play video games (Skyrim is my current addiction).
Well, I think I'll leave it at that for now. Hopefully my next post will include progress in those areas. Until then, happy September!
Friday, August 8, 2014
Books!
Because who doesn't love books?
I once read somewhere that some people read, but don't "see" what they are reading in their heads. This blew my mind when I first heard of it, because for me, it is totally and completely normal for epic scenes and faces and landscapes to play across my mind's eye as I'm reading a good bit of literature. That's just the way it has always been with me, and probably at least part of the reason why I have loved to read for as long as I can remember.
Something I discovered this week about loving to read is that no matter how long it's been since you've had time to pick up a new book (or an old favorite), when you run into someone else who loves it as much as you do, you suddenly have SO much to talk about. It's like that C.S. Lewis quote: "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: 'What! You, too? I thought I was the only one.'" I had a wonderful, engaging conversation with a woman and her teenage daughter this week all because of our mutual love of books (and mutual distaste for a certain popular vampire book series, but that's another story).
The beauty of books doesn't just lie in their story-telling or in the way they can bring people together, but in their ability to change people's minds, to give a new perspective, to help you understand exactly what it means to empathize with and think about the Other, and sometimes, to turn book haters into avid readers.
So here's where I'd like to hear back from you. What are some books that have stuck with you long after you turned the final page? How about books that you can read over and over again? Books you just really enjoyed reading? Or books you want to read? Some of mine overlap these categories, as I'm sure yours do. To kick things off, here are a few of mine, and this list is definitely NOT exhaustive:
Books that have stayed with me:
The Road, Cormac McCarthy (and by "stayed with me" I mean "haunted me")
Harry Potter series, JK Rowling
The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien
Little Women, Louisa May Alcott
The Dead, James Joyce (technically a short story, but I was surprised how much I enjoyed it, despite my hatred of Ulysses)
Books I can read over and over:
Harry Potter series, JK Rowling
The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien
The Princess Bride, William Goldman (Yes, there was a book before there was a movie; you should go read it!)
Books I want to read (or re-read!):
Dracula, Bram Stoker (re-read)
Good Omens, Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman (re-read)
The entire Sherlock Holmes series, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (I've only read a few of the novels and stories)
The Wise Man's Fear, Patrick Rothfuss (in progress!)
Anansi Boys, Neil Gaiman
The Sandman, Neil Gaiman (graphic novels and comics count!)
Even though this post focused on fiction, I'd love to hear if you have some non-fiction titles on your lists! Also, let me know if you have any book recommendations. I'm always looking for new books.
I once read somewhere that some people read, but don't "see" what they are reading in their heads. This blew my mind when I first heard of it, because for me, it is totally and completely normal for epic scenes and faces and landscapes to play across my mind's eye as I'm reading a good bit of literature. That's just the way it has always been with me, and probably at least part of the reason why I have loved to read for as long as I can remember.
Something I discovered this week about loving to read is that no matter how long it's been since you've had time to pick up a new book (or an old favorite), when you run into someone else who loves it as much as you do, you suddenly have SO much to talk about. It's like that C.S. Lewis quote: "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: 'What! You, too? I thought I was the only one.'" I had a wonderful, engaging conversation with a woman and her teenage daughter this week all because of our mutual love of books (and mutual distaste for a certain popular vampire book series, but that's another story).
The beauty of books doesn't just lie in their story-telling or in the way they can bring people together, but in their ability to change people's minds, to give a new perspective, to help you understand exactly what it means to empathize with and think about the Other, and sometimes, to turn book haters into avid readers.
So here's where I'd like to hear back from you. What are some books that have stuck with you long after you turned the final page? How about books that you can read over and over again? Books you just really enjoyed reading? Or books you want to read? Some of mine overlap these categories, as I'm sure yours do. To kick things off, here are a few of mine, and this list is definitely NOT exhaustive:
Books that have stayed with me:
The Road, Cormac McCarthy (and by "stayed with me" I mean "haunted me")
Harry Potter series, JK Rowling
The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien
Little Women, Louisa May Alcott
The Dead, James Joyce (technically a short story, but I was surprised how much I enjoyed it, despite my hatred of Ulysses)
Books I can read over and over:
Harry Potter series, JK Rowling
The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien
The Princess Bride, William Goldman (Yes, there was a book before there was a movie; you should go read it!)
Books I want to read (or re-read!):
Dracula, Bram Stoker (re-read)
Good Omens, Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman (re-read)
The entire Sherlock Holmes series, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (I've only read a few of the novels and stories)
The Wise Man's Fear, Patrick Rothfuss (in progress!)
Anansi Boys, Neil Gaiman
The Sandman, Neil Gaiman (graphic novels and comics count!)
Even though this post focused on fiction, I'd love to hear if you have some non-fiction titles on your lists! Also, let me know if you have any book recommendations. I'm always looking for new books.
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Through the eyes of children
Today was a scorcher, and as such, I took my work to Starbucks this afternoon for the air conditioning and the promise of free refills of green tea. I sat toward the back, at a long table near an outlet, facing the windows that look out over the small patch of grass between the coffeehouse and a main stretch of road. At one point in the evening, when the sun was low enough to cast a shadow over the lawn, I saw a young girl and her mother sitting on the grass with their drinks. The mother sat in quiet conversation with her friend, but the girl didn't look like she wanted to sit down. She had things to do.
By the looks of her, I'd say she was around 6 or 7 years old, dressed in a hot pink tank and shorts. She stood at the top of this little mound of grass, intermittently sipping her drink and holding out her other hand in front of her, facing the road. To me, it looked like she was pretending to control the cars, or direct traffic. Later on she planted one hand on her hip, held her other out toward the road, and occasionally pointed in the direction the cars were driving, as if to say, "Yes, it's safe to go now, move right along."
I am 26 now. I would look very silly if I were to do what she was doing. I have two decades of life experience on this girl. I am very aware of the horrible things happening across the world, and in our own country. I struggle with doubts and worries and fears. Sometimes, and I think we all have moments like this, I wish for the simplicity of seeing the world through the eyes of a child.
The funny thing about life is there's no going back to that, once you've grown up. But this little traffic director girl got me thinking, so here I am.
Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted to have kids one day. There are many reasons why, but she reminded me of one of them...
You can never go back to being a child, but you can remember what it was like and experience it with your own (or other people's) children. I'm not talking about living vicariously through your kids, or imposing things on them you missed out on, regardless of whether they actually have interest in the activity. I'm talking about being amazed when they learn how to do something new, or running away from scary dinosaurs and rescuing their friends while you driveon your couch in your firetruck. I'm not a mom yet, and I know things will be exhausting during that season of life, and those little moments won't be so easy to notice or appreciate. I just hope that I will remember to take note of them when I see them, to live with my kids in those moments. Even from watching my friends' kids, I know how quickly they grow up. They learn new things and don't always need you to swoop in to help them anymore. There's a time and place for that, but there is also a time and place for just sitting back, watching them use their imagination, and marveling at their creativity and honesty.
If that sounds lofty and idealized, oh well. Maybe you should go lay in the grass and try to find shapes in the clouds for a while. Better yet, bring a kid with you and look together. You might be surprised at what you find.
By the looks of her, I'd say she was around 6 or 7 years old, dressed in a hot pink tank and shorts. She stood at the top of this little mound of grass, intermittently sipping her drink and holding out her other hand in front of her, facing the road. To me, it looked like she was pretending to control the cars, or direct traffic. Later on she planted one hand on her hip, held her other out toward the road, and occasionally pointed in the direction the cars were driving, as if to say, "Yes, it's safe to go now, move right along."
I am 26 now. I would look very silly if I were to do what she was doing. I have two decades of life experience on this girl. I am very aware of the horrible things happening across the world, and in our own country. I struggle with doubts and worries and fears. Sometimes, and I think we all have moments like this, I wish for the simplicity of seeing the world through the eyes of a child.
The funny thing about life is there's no going back to that, once you've grown up. But this little traffic director girl got me thinking, so here I am.
Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted to have kids one day. There are many reasons why, but she reminded me of one of them...
You can never go back to being a child, but you can remember what it was like and experience it with your own (or other people's) children. I'm not talking about living vicariously through your kids, or imposing things on them you missed out on, regardless of whether they actually have interest in the activity. I'm talking about being amazed when they learn how to do something new, or running away from scary dinosaurs and rescuing their friends while you drive
If that sounds lofty and idealized, oh well. Maybe you should go lay in the grass and try to find shapes in the clouds for a while. Better yet, bring a kid with you and look together. You might be surprised at what you find.
Thursday, July 10, 2014
Adrift in Oceans Deep
I had an odd experience in a swimming pool this weekend, and I'm not sure why it happened. Let me preface this by saying I was fine, and in the shallow end, and nothing really happened. It's more the sensation that accompanied my bobbing around in shoulder deep water that was odd.
I was house/dog-sitting and since it's been ridiculously hot lately, I decided to take a dip in the pool, alone (everyone else was out of town). I'll be the first one to tell you I am not a strong swimmer. I once jumped into the middle of a lake on a church retreat and nearly panicked treading water with nothing below my feet (not to mention the mere thought of something swimming by and touching me). My body tired out quickly, I was breathing irregularly from focusing on not dipping below the surface and somehow forgetting how to breathe, and tried not to make a spectacle of myself as I scrambled back to the boat. From then on, I used a life vest as a sort of underwater hammock and pleasantly floated around, carefree, for the rest of the trip.
Until this past weekend, I don't think I've ever been in any body of water alone. The weather was hot, the pool was cool but not cold--it was refreshing. And I was fine up until the water was over my shoulders. I tried to tread water, just to see if I could (since I am really bad at it), and the same thing happened as in that lake. Tired. Can't breathe. Heart pounding. Can't stay above the surface. And even though my feet were still touching the bottom once I stood up, my body reacted as if nothing had changed--as if there was nothing below me to keep me afloat. The weirdest part is that mentally, I was completely calm and honestly a bit surprised at the disconnect between my mind and body reaction in those moments. My chest felt tight, my heart was beating harder than usual, and I felt like I couldn't get enough air into my lungs. In the shallow end of the pool. With my feet on solid ground.
I didn't stay in the pool very long. And I've been thinking about it ever since. Aside from the lyrics of Jack Johnson's "Drink the Water" continually popping into my head, I've at least been able to conclude a couple of things. One: When Stuart and I have kids, I want them to have plenty of swimming lessons so they don't feel freaked out in a few feet of water, no matter the circumstances. Two... well, I'm getting to that.
I can't explain why my body reacted that way. I don't know if it was because I was alone or what. But since I was an English major in college (who am I kidding, I'm still an English major) and my brain works in a particular way, I couldn't help but think about how often sinking or drowning imagery is used to describe a feeling or a situation, and there's good reason for that. I think we take for granted the ability to float, swim, do tricks, what have you (at least those of us who are adept swimmers). But to "sink like a stone" is overwhelming, and frightening. You feel crushed, breathless, helpless. Things happen in life that leave you feeling like you are drowning, sinking to the bottom of the ocean with no hope of escape or rescue.
Since becoming a Christian several years ago, I feel like the number of "drowning" events in my life have sky-rocketed. Lately, I haven't felt very strong in my relationship with the Lord. This is unrelated to the hardships of life, and more just neglect on my part. I believe in Him, and believe He is who He says He is. But my heart hasn't been following suit much, and I've been trying to figure out why. My scatter-brained-ness kicks in, or I get distracted by the myriad other things going on in my life and somehow manage to forget about Jesus. Thankfully, His faithfulness isn't dependent on mine. I live by faith, by His grace. There may be times when I feel overwhelmed, like the world is sending things my way that just crush and confuse me. I sometimes feel lost, like I'm adrift on the ocean, struggling to stay afloat in the uncertainty and sinking quicker by the second.
But I don't doubt for a moment that God is right there with me, His hand in mine, keeping me afloat (or pulling me out of the deep entirely). I've had opportunities to sink into hopelessness, and would have, if not for Jesus. Thing is, I don't want to just float, or "get by," anymore. I want to walk to Him across the water, instead of sinking like Peter, like I always do. God has proven faithful over and over again, even when I have not. He has given me every reason to trust Him and yet when the storms come, I act like the disciples in Mark 4.
I'll close with this: the first time I heard "Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)" by Hillsong United, I wanted to cry. It spoke to a deep part of my heart, and I want it to be my prayer each time I hear it. Thanks for reading.
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
I was house/dog-sitting and since it's been ridiculously hot lately, I decided to take a dip in the pool, alone (everyone else was out of town). I'll be the first one to tell you I am not a strong swimmer. I once jumped into the middle of a lake on a church retreat and nearly panicked treading water with nothing below my feet (not to mention the mere thought of something swimming by and touching me). My body tired out quickly, I was breathing irregularly from focusing on not dipping below the surface and somehow forgetting how to breathe, and tried not to make a spectacle of myself as I scrambled back to the boat. From then on, I used a life vest as a sort of underwater hammock and pleasantly floated around, carefree, for the rest of the trip.
Until this past weekend, I don't think I've ever been in any body of water alone. The weather was hot, the pool was cool but not cold--it was refreshing. And I was fine up until the water was over my shoulders. I tried to tread water, just to see if I could (since I am really bad at it), and the same thing happened as in that lake. Tired. Can't breathe. Heart pounding. Can't stay above the surface. And even though my feet were still touching the bottom once I stood up, my body reacted as if nothing had changed--as if there was nothing below me to keep me afloat. The weirdest part is that mentally, I was completely calm and honestly a bit surprised at the disconnect between my mind and body reaction in those moments. My chest felt tight, my heart was beating harder than usual, and I felt like I couldn't get enough air into my lungs. In the shallow end of the pool. With my feet on solid ground.
I didn't stay in the pool very long. And I've been thinking about it ever since. Aside from the lyrics of Jack Johnson's "Drink the Water" continually popping into my head, I've at least been able to conclude a couple of things. One: When Stuart and I have kids, I want them to have plenty of swimming lessons so they don't feel freaked out in a few feet of water, no matter the circumstances. Two... well, I'm getting to that.
I can't explain why my body reacted that way. I don't know if it was because I was alone or what. But since I was an English major in college (who am I kidding, I'm still an English major) and my brain works in a particular way, I couldn't help but think about how often sinking or drowning imagery is used to describe a feeling or a situation, and there's good reason for that. I think we take for granted the ability to float, swim, do tricks, what have you (at least those of us who are adept swimmers). But to "sink like a stone" is overwhelming, and frightening. You feel crushed, breathless, helpless. Things happen in life that leave you feeling like you are drowning, sinking to the bottom of the ocean with no hope of escape or rescue.
Since becoming a Christian several years ago, I feel like the number of "drowning" events in my life have sky-rocketed. Lately, I haven't felt very strong in my relationship with the Lord. This is unrelated to the hardships of life, and more just neglect on my part. I believe in Him, and believe He is who He says He is. But my heart hasn't been following suit much, and I've been trying to figure out why. My scatter-brained-ness kicks in, or I get distracted by the myriad other things going on in my life and somehow manage to forget about Jesus. Thankfully, His faithfulness isn't dependent on mine. I live by faith, by His grace. There may be times when I feel overwhelmed, like the world is sending things my way that just crush and confuse me. I sometimes feel lost, like I'm adrift on the ocean, struggling to stay afloat in the uncertainty and sinking quicker by the second.
But I don't doubt for a moment that God is right there with me, His hand in mine, keeping me afloat (or pulling me out of the deep entirely). I've had opportunities to sink into hopelessness, and would have, if not for Jesus. Thing is, I don't want to just float, or "get by," anymore. I want to walk to Him across the water, instead of sinking like Peter, like I always do. God has proven faithful over and over again, even when I have not. He has given me every reason to trust Him and yet when the storms come, I act like the disciples in Mark 4.
I'll close with this: the first time I heard "Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)" by Hillsong United, I wanted to cry. It spoke to a deep part of my heart, and I want it to be my prayer each time I hear it. Thanks for reading.
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Shiny
Over the last week or so, my husband and I watched Firefly in its entirety, followed of course by Serenity. I wonder why it took me so long to finally sit down and watch it. I think over the last few years I became aware that Firefly existed, simply from being on the internet, and I understood it was cancelled before its time and had a cult TV status due to its fanbase. I already knew those things. The difference now is that I understand why people were so distraught over the cancellation.
Something I've noticed when I watch anything by Joss Whedon--he does ensembles well. I am basing this on my years of watching Buffy and Angel (and, of course, The Avengers, but let's talk TV). Whedon strikes a good balance in his works, even with (or especially because of) so many different characters. He shows you who these people are individually, and who they are as a group. The show is never just about one person, it's about many people, who together make a unit of some sort--family, crew, Scoobies, what have you. I suppose you can argue that those are all types of family. If you were to ask me right now who my favorite character on Firefly is, I don't think I could pick just one for you. And I think that's a good thing.
The thing I love about Firefly is you can try to break down the characters into basic categories, but there is so much to each individual that it becomes impossible to fit them into a particular trope. "Space western" doesn't encompass the dynamics between the people in this universe. You look at traditional western movies and you get several things: the good guys, the bad guys, the damsels in distress, etc. Nothing is that black-and-white in Firefly.
If I go on about all the nuances and themes and trope-breaking in Firefly, we'll be here all night.
To sum up....
Now that I've seen Firefly, I can understand the devastation the fans, Whedon, and members of the cast must have felt when it ended... because I feel a bit of that myself. Especially after realizing that had the show not been cancelled and had contracts for the movie worked out differently, certain beloved characters would not have died (grr... argh...).
See what I did with that last bit? Okay, I'm done now... the point is, there was so much potential cut short.
On a related note, I've never been one to go out and buy comics for myself. Sure, I'll read some of the ones my husband has, but I've never gone out of my way for them. However, now that I know the Serenity stories continue in comic book form, it's starting to look like that's going to change very quickly.
Something I've noticed when I watch anything by Joss Whedon--he does ensembles well. I am basing this on my years of watching Buffy and Angel (and, of course, The Avengers, but let's talk TV). Whedon strikes a good balance in his works, even with (or especially because of) so many different characters. He shows you who these people are individually, and who they are as a group. The show is never just about one person, it's about many people, who together make a unit of some sort--family, crew, Scoobies, what have you. I suppose you can argue that those are all types of family. If you were to ask me right now who my favorite character on Firefly is, I don't think I could pick just one for you. And I think that's a good thing.
The thing I love about Firefly is you can try to break down the characters into basic categories, but there is so much to each individual that it becomes impossible to fit them into a particular trope. "Space western" doesn't encompass the dynamics between the people in this universe. You look at traditional western movies and you get several things: the good guys, the bad guys, the damsels in distress, etc. Nothing is that black-and-white in Firefly.
If I go on about all the nuances and themes and trope-breaking in Firefly, we'll be here all night.
To sum up....
Now that I've seen Firefly, I can understand the devastation the fans, Whedon, and members of the cast must have felt when it ended... because I feel a bit of that myself. Especially after realizing that had the show not been cancelled and had contracts for the movie worked out differently, certain beloved characters would not have died (grr... argh...).
See what I did with that last bit? Okay, I'm done now... the point is, there was so much potential cut short.
On a related note, I've never been one to go out and buy comics for myself. Sure, I'll read some of the ones my husband has, but I've never gone out of my way for them. However, now that I know the Serenity stories continue in comic book form, it's starting to look like that's going to change very quickly.
Sunday, June 1, 2014
New Month Already?
Really? It's June? (insert general remarks about how fast the year is going)
No, that last bit wasn't a reminder that I forgot to remove before posting. It's a quip to imply how silly it is for me to be surprised when this happens ALL THE TIME. Remember in school how the year used to take FOREVER? For. Ev. Er. And now, with each progressive year post high school (or even post college) it seems like time just slips through my fingers more and more quickly. Maybe it's because as we get older our list of responsibilities grows exponentially. It's easy for time to get away from you when you're distracted by a million and a half things.
I don't have too much to say tonight, even though there is so much I could talk about (all those million and a half responsibilities and concerns scratching at my door). All I can say is, May was a rough month. It had its highlights, for sure. But overall the last couple of months have been, well... stressful. Praying for a change and for God's wisdom in our lives.
See you next time.
No, that last bit wasn't a reminder that I forgot to remove before posting. It's a quip to imply how silly it is for me to be surprised when this happens ALL THE TIME. Remember in school how the year used to take FOREVER? For. Ev. Er. And now, with each progressive year post high school (or even post college) it seems like time just slips through my fingers more and more quickly. Maybe it's because as we get older our list of responsibilities grows exponentially. It's easy for time to get away from you when you're distracted by a million and a half things.
I don't have too much to say tonight, even though there is so much I could talk about (all those million and a half responsibilities and concerns scratching at my door). All I can say is, May was a rough month. It had its highlights, for sure. But overall the last couple of months have been, well... stressful. Praying for a change and for God's wisdom in our lives.
See you next time.
Thursday, May 22, 2014
I have been to Middle-Earth
This time last year, I was walking around Middle-Earth. Nope, not New Zealand (although I dearly want to go someday). Norway. I didn't realize how much Norse myth influenced J.R.R. Tolkien's work until my husband started doing research for his own novel (set to debut this summer--stay tuned!). And after walking, biking, and climbing around glacier-carved valleys deep in the fjords of Norway, I'm convinced the landscape influenced him as well.
Seriously, the only thing this picture is missing is a panorama shot of the endless snow-capped mountains surrounding us, and a dramatic swell of music (preferably from The Return of the King as each progressive beacon in the mountains was lit, because that music and those images made me cry the first time I saw it in theaters and that feeling is the only way I can describe how absolutely, heart-achingly beautiful the view from here was).
One thing that kind of made me raise an eyebrow leading up to our trip were some of the reactions I got when I told people we were going to Norway. "Huh, why Norway?" "Really? Norway?" As I had only seen pictures at the time, I explained as best I could how beautiful it was and how excited we were to traipse around the fjords for a week. Now that I've been there, my response would be more along the lines of "WHY NOT NORWAY? Have you SEEN it?" Please excuse the caps lock attack, but the idea that anyone would ever not want to see Norway is absolutely ridiculous to me.
Things work differently there. I know that's a simplistic, seemingly-obvious statement that can be applied not only to other countries, but other states--but it's true. Strangely enough this dawned on me when I was crossing a pedestrian bridge over a stream in Sogndal, saw a car coming down the road, and stopped, only to have the driver stop and wave me across the road. One of the locals later informed me that there are laws in place that protect pedestrians and persecute drivers who don't stop for them, even if the pedestrian isn't looking. Mind-boggling. I don't know how many times I've nearly been clipped by drivers who don't give a damn while trying to cross an intersection.
Anyway, oddball example aside, we were deep in the fjords, in a tiny town called Solvorn, and it felt like time didn't really apply there. Everything was so quiet, the people (both local and other internationals we encountered) were kind and friendly. We were essentially staying in the equivalent of the rural countryside. Pre-vacation, some people told us we wouldn't really need to know Norwegian to get around, but we learned some anyway. Sure enough, we ran into people who didn't really know English. Came in handy when we needed to order "to varmtsjokolade" at a tiny cafe in Luster along our bike trip and pay our bus driver to and from Solvorn.
Shameless plug time: if you ever go to Norway, spend some time at Eplet Bed and Apple in Solvorn. It's super affordable, the people who run it are wonderful (and can help plan your outdoor excursions), and the apple juice is literally the best thing you will ever drink. Plus, you get to meet all sorts of people from all over. We met a group of English guys, a German family, and so many other lovely people during our stay.
I could write about this trip, the places we saw, and the lovely people we met for ages, but then this post would be as long as those mountains are high. So I'll settle for closing with this:
A (literal) full day of JUST traveling on either end of the trip in order to get there and back again (womp-womp, see what I did there?), the quarter-of-a-mile long cue at Heathrow, my swollen ankles from those stupid hiking boots I wore when we climbed that glacier, my aching legs from an arduous 40-something-mile bike ride that I was convinced I was going to die doing (sort of--those hills were no joke, and don't get me started on those three damp, unlit, completely dark tunnels were biked through with only tiny, dim flashlights)--all of it was so worth it. And honestly, those things are secondary. The pure, unmarred beauty of the fjords, our experiences there, and the friends we made trump any discomfort or stress along the way.
I think about this trip a lot, and I miss the place, the people, everything. This was my first trip outside of the US (or even the West Coast), and it certainly won't be my last. We will go back again, someday. Meanwhile, there are so many other places I want to see. England, Ireland, Italy, New Zealand... I'll see them one day. Until then, I hope I don't forget to appreciate the beauty of things and the people I know where I live. I think it's good to want to see other places, but I often find I need to keep my heart in check, lest I pine away for distant lands and forget about home. Besides, there are plenty of adventures waiting right outside my door. I just need to step out and have them.
Seriously, the only thing this picture is missing is a panorama shot of the endless snow-capped mountains surrounding us, and a dramatic swell of music (preferably from The Return of the King as each progressive beacon in the mountains was lit, because that music and those images made me cry the first time I saw it in theaters and that feeling is the only way I can describe how absolutely, heart-achingly beautiful the view from here was).
One thing that kind of made me raise an eyebrow leading up to our trip were some of the reactions I got when I told people we were going to Norway. "Huh, why Norway?" "Really? Norway?" As I had only seen pictures at the time, I explained as best I could how beautiful it was and how excited we were to traipse around the fjords for a week. Now that I've been there, my response would be more along the lines of "WHY NOT NORWAY? Have you SEEN it?" Please excuse the caps lock attack, but the idea that anyone would ever not want to see Norway is absolutely ridiculous to me.
Things work differently there. I know that's a simplistic, seemingly-obvious statement that can be applied not only to other countries, but other states--but it's true. Strangely enough this dawned on me when I was crossing a pedestrian bridge over a stream in Sogndal, saw a car coming down the road, and stopped, only to have the driver stop and wave me across the road. One of the locals later informed me that there are laws in place that protect pedestrians and persecute drivers who don't stop for them, even if the pedestrian isn't looking. Mind-boggling. I don't know how many times I've nearly been clipped by drivers who don't give a damn while trying to cross an intersection.
Anyway, oddball example aside, we were deep in the fjords, in a tiny town called Solvorn, and it felt like time didn't really apply there. Everything was so quiet, the people (both local and other internationals we encountered) were kind and friendly. We were essentially staying in the equivalent of the rural countryside. Pre-vacation, some people told us we wouldn't really need to know Norwegian to get around, but we learned some anyway. Sure enough, we ran into people who didn't really know English. Came in handy when we needed to order "to varmtsjokolade" at a tiny cafe in Luster along our bike trip and pay our bus driver to and from Solvorn.
Shameless plug time: if you ever go to Norway, spend some time at Eplet Bed and Apple in Solvorn. It's super affordable, the people who run it are wonderful (and can help plan your outdoor excursions), and the apple juice is literally the best thing you will ever drink. Plus, you get to meet all sorts of people from all over. We met a group of English guys, a German family, and so many other lovely people during our stay.
I could write about this trip, the places we saw, and the lovely people we met for ages, but then this post would be as long as those mountains are high. So I'll settle for closing with this:
A (literal) full day of JUST traveling on either end of the trip in order to get there and back again (womp-womp, see what I did there?), the quarter-of-a-mile long cue at Heathrow, my swollen ankles from those stupid hiking boots I wore when we climbed that glacier, my aching legs from an arduous 40-something-mile bike ride that I was convinced I was going to die doing (sort of--those hills were no joke, and don't get me started on those three damp, unlit, completely dark tunnels were biked through with only tiny, dim flashlights)--all of it was so worth it. And honestly, those things are secondary. The pure, unmarred beauty of the fjords, our experiences there, and the friends we made trump any discomfort or stress along the way.
I think about this trip a lot, and I miss the place, the people, everything. This was my first trip outside of the US (or even the West Coast), and it certainly won't be my last. We will go back again, someday. Meanwhile, there are so many other places I want to see. England, Ireland, Italy, New Zealand... I'll see them one day. Until then, I hope I don't forget to appreciate the beauty of things and the people I know where I live. I think it's good to want to see other places, but I often find I need to keep my heart in check, lest I pine away for distant lands and forget about home. Besides, there are plenty of adventures waiting right outside my door. I just need to step out and have them.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Patience is a virtue
This morning I had several errands to run, one of which was shipping out some books for my publishing job. Since I've done this several times already, I know what to expect; so I wasn't at all surprised that there was only one person working the shipping counter at 10am, working on a complicated issue with his customers, while another lady and I waited in line.
The moment I stepped in line behind her, I could see her glance back at me in my peripheral vision. I avoided eye contact initially, because I figured she was going to make some comment about slow service. I shuffled my items around in my hands as she impatiently shifted her weight from foot to foot. When the associate had to go ask the manager for assistance, the lady in front of me turned around again and said something like, "Guess we're not in a hurry this morning." I tried to look sympathetic as I sheepishly replied, "It happens." That was the best thing I could come up with in the moment, and I don't imagine she particularly appreciated my passive refusal to acknowledge how inconvenienced she was by all this waiting.
This isn't me bashing on an impatient customer, by the way. I'm sure she has a multitude of stuff going on in her day, and I'm not one to say someone's time isn't as valuable as another person's time. What I wish I would see more of, is mutual understanding and human empathy. The customers in front of us had equally important things to send out, and the associate was doing his best to make sure everything ended up where it was supposed to. Stressing out about wait time isn't going to get your box shipped out any faster.
I worked in retail for 6 years and I've seen the good, bad, and ugly of customer service. Any time I'm tempted to feel impatient in situations where I'm the customer, I have to stop and remind myself that I'm not that far removed from the other side of the counter. I also have to remember what a difference it made for me when I had a customer who was kind, patient, and understanding. Sometimes it's hard to be patient and go with the flow, but it makes a huge difference in how you perceive your day. Not to mention the difference it can make to an overworked associate behind the counter.
Monday, May 12, 2014
Self-discipline and rest
I think the hardest thing about maintaining this blog is going to be getting past the initial writer's block. The desire is there. I want to write. I just keep getting stuck where I always have--staring at a blank page. Should I write a short story? Wax philosophical? Make a list? Write a book review? Sure, any of those things would be great. If I could just come up with something to write, of course.
I'm fairly certain some of this stagnancy comes from being around the house too much. I work from home for both my jobs: marketing coordinator for a publisher, and nanny to 1.5 and 3.5 year old boys 3-4 days a week. On days that I'm not babysitting, my time is usually spent running errands for my publishing job or cleaning up the house. Thing is, it's not a matter of "not having any time." It's a matter of "I must make time." See, I've never been a morning person. When the alarm goes off, my initial reaction is something along the lines of, "Noooooooooooo..." But on the days that I have managed to drag myself out of bed, I've felt like there is more time to get things done (wow, imagine that, right?).
For instance, the last couple of mornings, I woke up on my own around 5:45am. Usually I just go back to sleep (or try to), but even then, in those instances I'm up by 7am. This time of year, the sunlight comes directly through the crack in our curtain over the french doors (which we never open because our bedroom is tiny), and hits the sliding mirror door of the closet just right to reflect it DIRECTLY INTO MY FACE. So really, it's for my own benefit that I should get up before that happens. An alarm is bad enough, but blinding sunlight in your eyes when you try to go back to sleep is equally frustrating.
Anyway, back to wanting to be a morning person... the world is so much quieter first thing in the morning. Everything seems calm and refreshed. I enjoy taking in those peaceful moments before I have to worry about everything else I need to do that day. These would also be prime times for me to actually pick up my bible (something I haven't done on my own for a long time). Before any distractions, before the rest of the city is up and about, just me and the Lord. I need that in my life again.
I am an easily distracted person. Those dogs in Up? Yeah, that's me. "Oh, I think I'll spend some time--SQUIRREL!" Literally. I even get distracted by tiny animals. "Oh look, a gopher in our front lawn! I shall sit and feed him crab grass." I was distracted by a split end while I typed that sentence. Point is: I need some self-discipline.
That's all for now. Let's open a discussion. How do you find time to get away during daily life? What do you like to do to find some rest even amid your routine?
I'm fairly certain some of this stagnancy comes from being around the house too much. I work from home for both my jobs: marketing coordinator for a publisher, and nanny to 1.5 and 3.5 year old boys 3-4 days a week. On days that I'm not babysitting, my time is usually spent running errands for my publishing job or cleaning up the house. Thing is, it's not a matter of "not having any time." It's a matter of "I must make time." See, I've never been a morning person. When the alarm goes off, my initial reaction is something along the lines of, "Noooooooooooo..." But on the days that I have managed to drag myself out of bed, I've felt like there is more time to get things done (wow, imagine that, right?).
For instance, the last couple of mornings, I woke up on my own around 5:45am. Usually I just go back to sleep (or try to), but even then, in those instances I'm up by 7am. This time of year, the sunlight comes directly through the crack in our curtain over the french doors (which we never open because our bedroom is tiny), and hits the sliding mirror door of the closet just right to reflect it DIRECTLY INTO MY FACE. So really, it's for my own benefit that I should get up before that happens. An alarm is bad enough, but blinding sunlight in your eyes when you try to go back to sleep is equally frustrating.
Anyway, back to wanting to be a morning person... the world is so much quieter first thing in the morning. Everything seems calm and refreshed. I enjoy taking in those peaceful moments before I have to worry about everything else I need to do that day. These would also be prime times for me to actually pick up my bible (something I haven't done on my own for a long time). Before any distractions, before the rest of the city is up and about, just me and the Lord. I need that in my life again.
I am an easily distracted person. Those dogs in Up? Yeah, that's me. "Oh, I think I'll spend some time--SQUIRREL!" Literally. I even get distracted by tiny animals. "Oh look, a gopher in our front lawn! I shall sit and feed him crab grass." I was distracted by a split end while I typed that sentence. Point is: I need some self-discipline.
That's all for now. Let's open a discussion. How do you find time to get away during daily life? What do you like to do to find some rest even amid your routine?
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